Tuesday, 10 November 2015

Complaining Success Stories

Wise Women Canada's slogan is "everybody has a story".

So when my time came around to pitch them they begged me to become one of their bloggers, I offered them a three part series about successful complainers.

You may have seen the first one mentioned here.

Second instalment went up today.

Click here to read it.

For those of you who are morally opposed to clicking links I will summarize:

1. When complaining effectively, quit while you're ahead
2. Chocolate brown is a beautiful colour for a kitchen banquette
3. Some people are not willing to share their bbq chicken recipes

Thursday, 24 September 2015

A Yom Kippur Tale

Hi, can I get 4 dozen black seed and 3 dozen white seed please?

Anything else?

No thanks, that's it. I will pick up my order around 2.

Blah blah blah mumble mumble blah

I'm sorry?

Oh I'm sorry Ma'am. We are no longer accepting telephone orders.

Do you have bagels?


White seed?


And black seed?


But I can't place my order over the phone?

No, Ma'am. We are no longer accepting telephone orders.

And you are currently open?

Yes Ma'am. We are open for walk in orders only.

Hang up. Walk to car. Drive to bagel store.

Hi. Can I get 4 dozen black seed and 3 dozen white seed please?

Sure. Anything else?

No thanks, that's it.



Are you the one that just called?

Friday, 4 September 2015

The REAL Canadian Health Care System

Need doctor's appointment.

Call former colleague and very good friend who is married to guy I thought was super cool in high school. Super cool is now a doctor.

Dr. Super tries to get me appointment with doctor who I once saw with my mother and she ended up eating a birthday candle in his office.

Several weeks and multiple emails pass with no appointment.

BFF  misses my birthday party and offers to take me out to Trendy Restaurant to compensate.

Who walks into Trendy Restaurant.


Dr. Birthday Candle.

And is seated right next to us.

Hi. I smile apologetically at wife and continue.

I have been trying desperately to get an appointment with you. I gesture to BFF. We went to high school with Dr. Super. I'm the one he's been emailing you about? Maybe I look familiar because I came to see you with my mom? She ate a birthday candle?

Oh of course. The birthday candle. How can I forget. You're the one he's been emailing about?

Yes that's me. I need an appointment with you.

Next day at 2pm I show up for my appointment.

First thing out of Dr. Birthday Candle's mouth? Tell your BFF she was right. The beet salad was delicious.

Wednesday, 2 September 2015

Let's Catch Up

Everything's been hopping around here.

Really? Because from where I'm sitting, it seems incredibly quiet.

Yeah. I know. I feel a bit guilty. I've been writing for everyone with a pulse for some incredibly colourful and dynamic publications and haven't been diligent about posting all the links.

First, I went camping with my kids. Read about the potatoes and get full recipe here.

Previously written article "About learning circles" finally published in Long Term Care Ontario (Summer 2015) here.

Another article "Learning from complaints: the Quebec experience" was published in Canadian Nursing Home (June 2015) but they don't have an online version yet. Don't look so relieved. You and I both know that I will learn how to pdf that sucker on some cold winter night and you will click out of complete boredom despite every intention to the contrary.

I interviewed my daughter (in my head) about how to complain effectively for Wise Women Canada. Full story here. I have another interview in to them that is coming out any day now, so you may want to go ahead and click like on their FB page so you don't miss a thing. 

And then my old and already published story about a trip to Quebec City just won an award. Would you want to read it? Oh thanks. That's so sweet. Ok, sure, click here if you insist.

I also went to a fantastic writing conference and volunteered to blog about the two keynotes, one of which reminded me of my $5 shoes (details here) and the other gave me a great reading list (here) which includes a non-fiction book by George Orwell which is the only one I've completed so far which is actually a compelling read.

Monday, 10 August 2015

Lessons Learned From My First Ever Writing Conference

1. Words like prosity, braided essay and anal bleaching are easier to use in a sentence than you would think.
2. Do not expect diversity. Expect cat owners.
3. Creative Non Fiction is actually a code word for deep dark and depressing memoirs, hopefully featuring drug abuse divorce and broken limbs but leaving out cancer because there are way too many cancer submissions right now.
4. If you tweet pictures of your $5 shoes you will meet lots of lovely people many of whom are also wearing fabulous shoes.
5. Writers are so notoriously unhelpful toward each other that we need a panel about being nice, called Literary Citizenship, which featured tips such as when someone does you a favour, bake them cookies.

And the most important thing I learned at the writing conference:

6. Turns out I'm a writer.